Where do you fit in?
 Our readers respond. . .

Do you identify with main stream gay society? Are you more at home in the bear brotherhood without all the trappings of the muscle boys and A listers? Or are you a square peg trying to find a hole?

Here's what you told us -

"A square peg trying to find a hole" - classic. While not desperately seeking that hole, this square peg has been so distant from mainstream society (gay and otherwise) that I wouldn't know Will or Grace if either asked me to dance (yes, I know referencing W&G is five years ago, but I am at a loss for what is mainstream today).

Don't want ot be a peg (round or square) in anyones preconceived hole (although I love to be in a hole as much as possible). Enjoy the closeness of Bears in general, but not necessarily the organized Bear scene. Like it one on one, or with a smaller group of trusted friends where fraternity and a nonjudgmental attitude prevail. Give me a couple of good friends I can be myself with, sunshine on my naked skin, and a big cigar to smoke and I'm a happy camper.

I am definitely more at home with the Bear Brotherhood, or at least the ideal of the Bear Brotherhood, which fortunately, is what I have experienced for the last few years being in a gay/bear/social atmosphere for the first time in my life. However, I hate seeing how the mainstream Bear community in some ways has become just another way to exclude others who dont fit yet another ideal look or attitude or amount of masculinity. In my mind, the Bear community IS and SHOULD BE about men existing as they naturally are, because, lets face it...the majority of gay men ARE just 'regular guys', not skinny beautiful hairless young men. I thought the Bear community was started for men who didn't fit into the gay mainstream...I think it should be that and IS that... not who has the perfect beard, chest hair, muscles and/or husky-ness, or amount of masculinity.

I am not a hairy man, but I feel at home with the Bears. Everyone I have met and spent anytime with seems normal and happy. The "Bear Brotherhood" is accepting, not spending time trying to make you look or be a certain image. Too, I enjoy the whole concept of just being men. We sweat, we have hair, we stink etc.... Thats what men are and do. So, lets all get naked and do what men do with some gusto and no apologizing for sweating and stinking while we do it.

 Cigar tips from our readers

1. Before clipping the end of a cigar, prior to smoking it - place it in your mouth and moisten it first then cut it. The end being clipped don't seem to crumble as much.
2. Use the cutter to just lightly cut off the rounded tip instead of taking a chunk out of it. Then slightly squeeze it to open of the air draw.
3. If you are just starting out - For the majority of men, I usually had them start with Dominican cigars. If they didn't smoke at all, I would have them try Macanudo as one of the first. It has a tight draw / low smoke output, to not overwhelm them.
4. If you find that you've purchased more cigars than your humidor can handle, store them in your freezer in a plastic bag or container with a lid. Two to three days before the planned smoke move them to your refrigerator's crisper bin.
5. To insure your cigars are kept fresh...keep a corner of a sponge moist with distilled water in the bag with the cigars, but not touching the cigars.

 It's Leather Season
 

As the leather season kicks into high gear - This belt buckle is the perfect accent to your leather wardrobe.

3.5 inches x 3 inches Hand Cuff Pewter Buckle

Over the next few weeks look for us at IML and Bear Pride in Chicago, and of course Dore Alley in San Francisco. Come up and say hello - you can also pay respects to the Mistress.

 THE BEARS OF SUMMER
 Bikini season already?

by Buzzed Beef

Greetins yall!

Thought I would turn on a little southern charm this week. I do miss summers back home; not the wretched heat, but the good times: swimmin' in a clay pit, cool air-conditioning, my dad's summer tomatoes. For most of the US, summer is here or on its way. Are you ready for shirtless days? I wish I was as prepared as I would like to be.

Summers used to be horrors for me. There was always the risk of having to take my shirt off. I have wrestled with this particular demon for years. Only in the last few years has the thought of being shirtless not petrified me with fear.

As I move into these summer months, my gym focus is going to be doing work that makes me more comfortable with my body. The results may not be close to my ultimate goals, but a step in the right direction. I am going to focus on my diet and eat to nourish my body and fuel it without hindering it. I am going to use both building and toning exercises to help me shape up more. I am going to set realistic goals within a reasonable time frame and work to them.

It's roughly 8 weeks until the 4th of July. That is my goal to reach my summer body....roughly half the summer to work my body and half to enjoy the fruits of my efforts (as I continue to work it, of course).

Hugs (and licks if you want 'em)