Chewin' the Fat - August 28, 2007

"What does Bear Pride mean to you?"
Here's what you told us:

Bear pride to me is allowing myself the right to be myself - I don't have to be thin, hairless, pretty and young, there's a market for all of us out there, I don't have to fit in , in truth for once the world needs to fit in with me.

I think that being a bear means learning to live out of one's own resources. Growing up gay often means trying to conform to somebody else's standards and criteria. I think bears find that after facing a lot of persecution in the straight world they are dismayed to find that same overt hostility on the gay world when one does not live up to the demands of the Abercrombie & Fitch Crowd. I think bears develop a "beard" a pelt able to handle the sometimes not so subtle angers of an insecure consumers market. When one chooses to step out of the beaten path and trust that there will be enough to sustain a man wherever he may be you can find a bear mentality taking root. Bears I have known are not trying to live up to anybody else's expectations. They are comfortable in their own skins because they have trusted enough to appreciate that the world is not "Black and White" Despite so many following the Rainbow Flag there is still a tendency to conform to Clone Stereotypes. Bears explicitly do not. I find that is why they are so refreshing. Bears can feast on whatever is available and delight in the variety of resources they find. Even the tendency to be in open relationships often is just "when you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". I appreciate bears for giving this ruggedness back to the communities we inhabit. When the external weathers are too inhospitable, bears can hibernate until the environment becomes more accommodating. They can live off what they have stored internally.

It means being happy with who and what I am. It means embracing all of my brothers regardless of size, demeanor or orientation. It means oneness with all men ... but especially gay men. It means being who you are and respecting everyone else around you. I have always thought of a bear as a man. A man is someone who is strong, knowledgeable, and most off all respectful of his surroundings.

It means being proud of who you are, whether you're a bear, cub, otter or chaser. Enjoying the time you have with the brotherhood of bears, showing respect for the bear life, and the people in it. Always enjoy what time you have with each other and celebrating our lives and who we are together.

Bear pride for me has several meanings. After all we are a subset of a bigger culture, but it is one that goes beyond just being gay and hairy, and larger in size. It has to do with a state of being - an acceptance of self, and embracing the fact that I am no longer that blond skinny twink (who thought old was everything over 30). One that remembers I still have a lot of value - if not more, than I did when younger, and being able to offer the helpful places of my journey - maybe making a difference for someone else.