Hundreds of bears lathered in slippery oil trapped together on a boat for a week.  While this may sound like the plot of your favorite porn, it’s actually Lazy Bear Out To Sea.  We recently caught up with one very tired Allen Eggman who has just survived Lazy Bear Weekend 13!  We wanted to know what his cruise thing was about.  Allen was happy to oblige!

 

 

 

TCB: OK, we know what a bear does in the woods, what exactly does he do at sea? 

Allen: The same as what he does in the woods but with better balance!

 

TCB: Does what happens at sea, stay at sea?

Allen: What lies with the fishes, stays with the fish!

 

TCB: How many outfit changes will I need?

Allen: Depends on your fashion sense.  Some guys can survive at sea with a couple of pair of  jeans, 2 or 3 pair of shorts, sandals, sneaks, light jacket or windbreaker for late night or early morning "cruise" walks.  The more fashionable (not necessarily seasoned cruiser) may want to pack more, just don't forget to leave room in your suitcase or duffle bag for shopping items!

 

TCB: Are you more like Julie McCoy or Isaac?

Allen: Julie, hands down!

 

TCB: If I save all my little umbrellas, do I get a prize?

Allen: No, but you could use them as the basis for the next cruises costume contest!

 

TCB: How do I tell my lube from my sunscreen?

Allen: In the daytime that's real easy, you just look at the bottles.  At nighttime it's a bit trickier.  If you are fishing through your night table drawer and both bottles are there, feel for the shape of the spout.  The lube will have a more rounded shape little a big erasure.  Or you can smell the bottles; coco butter is a dead giveaway for the sunscreen.

 

TCB: Doesn't all that fur clog the drain in the pool?

Allen: Yes, but the little Fur Fairies come out VERY late and unclog the pools and hot tubs.

 

TCB: Is there a weight capacity on a Speedo?

Allen: What's a Speedo?

 

TCB: My room is how many levels below deck? 

Allen: As few as possible.

 

TCB: How do I tell a crew member from the uniform bears? 

Allen: A simple "Woof" should works or “How many knots are we traveling at Sir?”