It's not easy being a bear.  What the hell is a versatile bottom anyway?  Does this bondage wear make me look fat?  How long do I have to wait to call him?  Everyday practical advice from two poppa bears who have seen it, done it and still have the t-shirts to prove it. . .

Send your questions to Hot & Heavy

One of our many fans writes “What foods are good for sex?”

Hot: We have fans?  When did get fans? 

Heavy:  Would you please focus?  “What foods are good for sex?”

Hot: Here is a question I can answer! Food and sex, yum my favorite combo!  Dip me in honey and throw me to the bears . . .

Heavy: Have you ever not been easy?  Wait, don't answer that.  You know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Food and sex have been linked together through out the ages. History is ripe with the human pursuit of aphrodisiacs in many forms – even risking death. For example, the Puffer Fish, considered both a delicacy and an aphrodisiac in Japan. If the poisonous gland is not properly removed, the tiniest taste is deadly. The flirt with death is said to give a sexual thrill. The things we do for love . . .

Hot: Oh, trust me, you've done much worse. And, I don’t think that is what our dear reader is asking. I suggest a visit to the produce aisle with his partner. There are always to old standbys like carrots and cucumbers. And a little creative carving can make for an interesting date. Just remember not to insert anything into an orifice that can get lost. Don’t be another emergency room story – you know those nurses are such gossips.

Heavy: He speaks from experience. Hmm, produce. And you know - carrots are good for your eyesight, so you don't have to worry about that going blind thing.

Hot: Going blind? You've been talking to your mother, again - haven't you? Anyway, to continue--a frozen banana can also be fun. Just make sure it freezes in a good shape.

Heavy: As opposed to a bad shape? One of my favorites is sucking on an ice cube before sucking on something else – I just got a shiver thinking about it.

Hot: And don’t forget my personal favorite — chocolate syrup. I suppose if you were worried about the carbs, you could make it with cocoa powder and artificial sweetener.

Heavy: When did you start worrying about carbs?  What about strawberries and whipped cream?

Hot: You can use the spray can to spray whipped cream on the parts you want licked!

Heavy: Cover me from head to toe and whip me baby!

Hot: It's always about your needs, isn't it?